Life's Tragedies

My heart is overwhelmed with sorrow and grief as trajedy has struck home today. Many of you know I am the head coach of the varsity girls basketball team at Restoration Academy. One of my girls lost her mother today due to senseless violence. She was only 32 and left a 14 year old daughter and a 11 year old son.

When I found out the news I was immediately burdened to pray and seek God for wisdom, comfort and peace. While God has certainly given these to me I still remain grief stricken for the children who will be without their mother. During my morning meeting a gentleman asked me how I would handle ministering to my team and the young woman who lost her mom. My reply was "brokenness". I simply don't have the right words to say at this moment. All I can do is weep and mourn along side of her.

I know in time God will give me the wisdom to speak words of grace and love. I know God is sovereign over all things and somehow, some way will use this for his glory. I know that the word of God speaks into this situation and I could turn to many passages that comfort us in times of severe struggles and pain. I know that God will give us the needed grace. I know that God will use this draw us closer to Him. But for now I am broken. Absolutely broken over the visible manifestation of what sin brings and that's death.

Lord how I pray for her and our team. Would you be pleased to reveal to us your glory in the midst of our despair for we are a needy people. Lord would you be pleased to comfort us and turn this tragic event into triumph that many would come to know you as Lord of Lords, the Prince of peace.

JW

Life "In the Hill"

I had the privilege of visiting New Haven, CT this past weekend, specifically a neighborhood called "the Hill". I was visiting one of my good friend Tolivar Wills church plant to preach the Word and was encouraged and convicted of how I engage in urban ministry. Seeing his asset based approached was invigorating. Instead of starting a church plant with a core group of folks he simply began building relationships in the community through a soccer camp. The camp allowed him to get to know residents in the community and over time he empowered them by allowing them to lead and make decisions for what the neighborhood really needed.


Instead of creating a bunch of programs and using outside manpower he built relationships by humbling himself and taking on the role of learner. One of the initiatives the community residents pushed was a clothing co-op where they sell donated clothes on the corner in the neighborhood. Seeing the excitement on the faces of the residents as they negotiated and ran the business was infectious. I experienced what it looks like when outsiders come in and defer to the community to make the key decisions in ministry efforts. The store provided jobs for the residents to affirm their dignity and resources for the community at an affordable price, plus allowed them the opportunity to promote the church and build relationships.


The next day I witnessed a perfectly arranged worship service not set up by outsiders but by one of the members of the community. It was so inspiring to see residents take ownership of a ministry apart from others giving marching orders.


You might ask why doesn't everyone seek assets in the neighborhood they wish to reach? Why do we simply bring in outsiders with a better education and managerial skills? Because we are seeking a quick fix...But when you do that you destroy the initiative of the very people you are seeking to empower. I must repent that many of my urban outreach efforts are driven by middle and upper class people wishing to help. By having a needs based ministry outsiders examine the problems and come up with solutions. While we may be right in our assessment of the issues we have overlooked the need to allow the community to speak up and take propriety. We want immediate results and in doing so further mar peoples self image and dignity all the while attempting to help. I have much to learn and am grateful for men like Tolivar who seek a true and lasting change brought about by the very visionaries of the neighborhood not outsiders who think they have all the answers...Lord forgive me...


JW

Toxic Charity

A man stands on the side of the road. He is dirty clothes ripped; it is cold he has no coat; he has a sign saying he is hungry. Our heart beats faster, we are faced with our great privileges and this mans lack. So what do we do? Some believers will use Scripture to back up their claim we should give freely to all. Others say we are destroying their dignity and self-worth by contributing to a dependancy based lifestyle. Others say charity is a cheap and easy gift. Others say we should give sometimes when our heart really tugs at us...So what do we do?

Not an easy answer is it? When we give it brings us great joy and satisfaction to assist another. When we give it feels like we mercifully helped another. But have we really helped? Most times when we give charity to the poor we actually harm their dignity, self-worth and human responsibility. We must ask ourselves after we give the homeless man a meal what is the lasting impact of our gift. What about tomorrow? Will they ask again? Will they all the sudden be self-sustaining and no longer need help if we give them that meal?

The reality is in most cases we never get to the root causes of the symptoms of their condition, we simply give momentary relief to a symptom, which in the long run fails. Giver-Recipient relationships based off needs always breeds resentment. If we begin a relationship through offering gifts we have just assumed our role in that persons life. It is the start to an adversarial relationship.

So what I am I saying? I don't believe giving is the best solution in all cases. I will surely not tell someone to never give but I will give you a stern warning on the impact of your gift. There are situations where we discern a person's plight and give out of love and mercy for God and others. Thats understandable. But for the most part this destroys relationships and trust rather than fostering it. We need to make sure if at all possible we practice due dilengence when offering assistance to the poor and homeless.

The reason many don't want to hear this is because giving hand outs and charity is simple, easy, and doesn't cost us a thing but a few seconds. It also warms our heart and soothes our guilty conscience. To stop and listen, take time to get to know someone and be immersed in their messy life takes the gospel of grace. It is long term not quick fix and it may very well involve suffering.

"Giving to those in need what they could be gaining from their own initiative may well be the kindest way to destroy people". Bob Lupton

My prayer is that we would thank God for the tug on our hearts He provides and move from relief to development; move from enablement to empowerment; and move from charity to charitable justice. I am grateful for books like "When Helping Hurts" and "Toxic Charity" to help me understand how people with the best motives and purest hearts can actually destroy the very people they wish to help.

Do we suffer from S.A.D.?

The word love is thrown around in our society so much that it has nearly lost it's meaning. Love in our culture has come to stand for a touchy-feely emotional response to others. Love is goosebumps, mushy-gushy feelings and then when our expectations go unmet we have no room to love anymore. This is not the kind of love that the Bible speaks to when it tells us to love God and love our neighbor.

One of the reasons the church is ineffective in permeating our culture is because we suffer from S.A.D. or Selective Affection Disorder. We rarely love the way God desires us to love. Love as defined by Scripture is one directional toward someone not dependent upon how that person makes me feel. Love is patient and kind, and seeks to be at peace with others. We simply do not love this way. We are selective in who we love. We seem to only love others who agree with our theology, look like us, enjoy what we enjoy, and see life as we see it. But that my friends is not true love.

John says that the world will know we are Christians when they see our love, one for another. If we truly want to impact our society for Christ we must love in spite of differences we may have. We must strive for unity and major on what's major. God demonstrated his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for the ungodly. I rarely think I emit that kind of love for others though I should. Why not? Because we have yet to truly love God. The only way to love others the way Christ has commanded us is to love him more. Only when we get our vertical love right can we love horizontally. We will begin to love others when we give ourselves completely to God. The more we love God, the more love will flow from us to others. We can't forgive others until we realize how much God has forgiven us, we can't show mercy to others until we see how much God has had mercy on us.

Love comes from God for He is love. If love for God doesn't govern and motivate your choices to love others it will always be mere sentiment with wrong motives. A deep love for God will produce the overflow needed to love others. Lord help us see that you are so worthy of our love and adoration.

Racial Insensitivity

I guess it really shouldn't surprise me that some folks are just downright oblivious to the harm they cause with their words. I think in some cases their words are meant to purposefully harm others, but most times I believe it is just plain ignorance. Most comments made about other races are not derived from actual relationships but from stereotypes that media and peer influence promote, most of which is at it's core...out of ignorance.

I saw a comment someone posted (not directed at me) on facebook that read, "stop talking black". This phrase has always bothered me deep inside for a number of reasons. These are the kind of comments that set us back as a nation. First of all what is talking black? By making that statement what are we implying? Do all black people sound the same? To even ask these questions shows us the rediculous nature of our stereotypes. I know many black people from many different countries and all sound different. I have black friends up north that talk different than my black friends in Alabama. I also know white people who live in trailer parks that sound differently than some whites who live in Mountain Brook. I also know people who grew up in the same house and sound different! Take my sister and I for example!

Secondly to use the phrase "stop talking black" (in the context I read it) implies that black is ghetto, uneducated and improper english, while "talking white" means educated, intelligent, and professional. This is the kind of superiority mentality that is destroying many churches and making them totally ineffective at reaching people groups outside of themselves. They view themselves as superior and others as dumb or uneducated.

Thirdly this is not just a "white" problem. There are also many blacks that accuse their own people in their own race of "talking white" (I know this for a fact because my wife has been charged with this). It is almost as if a person who decides to speak intelligently is talking in a way that is outside of their race. This is something we need to overcome but it is a mere symptom to a root cause that lies far deeper.

By continuing these stereotypes we deny the fact that we are all made in God's image and He should define our worth not culture. If we continue to allow these stereotypes to persist we participate in elevating one race as superior and another as inferior. How can we overcome this? Get to know people outside of your race. Talk to them and listen. What we see is not that a particular race is superior or inferior, it is simply the context of what a child grows up in and is exposed to.

My daughter has a white dad and a black mom, but her black mom is finishing her PhD and our child is growing up with books and proper english in her home. If you put her in a home that had no books and broken english we know the results. Not that this cannot be overcome but initially we know that the home environment and neighborhood have more to do with how a person speaks than the color of their skin. I hope as a people we would not further the stereotypes. I hope as people we would stop catagorizing people in general ways as if all white people were a certain way and all black people another way. While there are certain cultural differences and heritages that I would never deny, that does not mean one race is superior to another.

Mentor Training

Today was our first training session for mentors within the ASPIRE Movement. The consensus from the trainees was they walked away not only with a greater understanding of urban youth but also felt more equipped to parent their own children. What I have witnessed is seeing godly men and women who feel a burning desire and need to get out of their comfort zone and experience God in a whole new way.

The mentoring program is not simply for a more educated person to get involved and assist a young person. While surely there will be a time for that commensal relationship we are promoting mutual transformation where both mentors and mentees are teaching and learning from each other.

Deep below the surfaces of the water you might see this kind of relationship between the shrimp and the goby fish. The shrimp is an excellent digger but has limited vision making him vulnerable to attackers. The goby fish has great vision but cannot dig burrows. The two work together so while the shrimp is digging burrows the goby fish watches out for predators. When the goby fish sees danger he taps the shrimp and they both retreat into the burrow. Both bring assets to the table and mutually benefit from each other.

While the mentee may lack in a number of areas that the mentor can help with, the mentor has great need of the mentee in his own walk with Jesus. He has a need to be brought out of his or her comfort zone and experience brokenness on a whole nother level. The mentor has need for satisfaction and service that can only be granted by humbling himself and giving himself away to the needs and plight of another.

While the aim if the program is to produce the next generation of urban leaders we believe we will also produce heart-felt, compassionate, sensitive Christ-followers who will develop a great dependency on God that will permeate all areas of their lives.

Nehemiah through urban eyes

The Book of Nehemiah is one of my favorite books of the Bible. Here is a man who held one of the highest positions in the world being the cup bearer to the king yet set aside his position of prominence when he found out the plight of his people and incarnated with them taking on their reproaches to build the community both physically and spiritually. 


The reality is much like Jerusalem in the 400 BC's our urban cities lay in desolation and ruin. The physical desolation of run down buildings and abandoned homes speaks to a far greater condition of spiritual despair. The lack of good solid families, the lack of economic opportunities, the lack of leaders and positive role model plague our urban communities much like Jerusalem. The people had stopped worshipping the Great God Yahweh and turned to idols in the same way our urban folks turn to drugs and gangs. 


Here are 7 points of how we can see Nehemiah through urban eyes:


1. Nehemiah used the physical conditions to deal with spiritual realities

1. This is the basis for wholistic ministry
2. To address spiritual conditions you must deal with the whole person

          We simply cannot do urban ministry apart from dealing with peoples' physical condition. The conservative approach to "simply get people saved" is short sighted and lacks a true understanding of the great reversal that took place when Jesus defeated death, sin and Satan on the cross and through the resurrection. We need a wholistic view of ministry that encompasses economic developing (rebuilding the walls), job training and opportunities, discipleship through a correct view of God's creation and stewardship principles, as well as meeting specific material needs. 

2. Everyone played their part/ Nehemiah didn’t do it alone

        Ministry to the city where we do for instead of empower to do breeds paternalism and destroys the dignity of the very people we wish to help. We need to use indigenous leaders and put the power to make decisions in the hands of the people. While the urban community can certainly use the infusion of outside resources we need to be careful to allow the people to take the reigns and direct the vision thus taking ownership and affirming their God given dignity. 

3. Compassion led to prayer and intercession

      Nehemiah was broken when he heard the news of the city and the people dwelling there. He didn't immediately act or take on a savior mentality he went before God in repentance and humility. To be effective in the city we must come in humbly bowed low depending fully on the Holy Spirit and be culturally sensitive toward others. Every decision and relationship needs to be bathed in prayer and dependence on God Almighty.

4. There will be opposition from every front

     Don't expect to go storm the devil's domain and think for one second opposition won't appear at every turn. Urban ministry is gritty kingdom work and the enemy hates racial reconciliation, deliverance and freeing people from his clutches. While Nehemiah and his people experienced opposition they stood firm and relied on God's promised to complete the task. Likewise we need to work with a weapon in hand not at all surprised by the enemies divisiveness.

5. God has promised his favor

     God has promised to build his church much in the way Nehemiah was promised success. The good hand of the Lord is with all who endeavor to go minister in the city by the power of the Spirit. He has made clear that the poor and vulnerable are his biased people and we set out to be agents of change his hand is with us.

6. Nehemiah gave up worldly position to take on the sufferings of the people

   Nehemiah left his comfort and convenience of being in the king's palace to take on the reproaches of the people. He considered much like Moses the reproaches of Christ to hold a far more eternal weight of glory. We need soldiers who will move and incarnate the city that will love their neighbor as themselves bringing peace and mercy with them as weapons for warfare.

7. Social shalom comes from solid Bible believing Christians knowing their theology but excelling in their ortho-praxy.

   History tells us that long before Nehemiah showed up on the scene Ezra was already there preaching and teaching the Word of God. In fact, He set his heart on studying the word to apply it to life and ministry. As reformed Christians we do hold fast to sound theology which is the key to living a Christ centered, Gospel driven, Holy Spirit empowered life for the glory of God. But our problem is not theology it is ortho praxy or in laymen's terms our practice of that theology in understanding how it applies to the urban community and the great reversal. 

I believe change has come. Urban reformed Christians are growing and going and the kingdom is moving forward. We need more who are willing to stand in the gap and be Nehemiah's. Won't you pray about how God can use you in your city. 

JW